Dear Weight Watchers...

Dear Weight Watchers,

Once again you have proven to me how the program DOES work. After going back to your meeting last week and committing myself to making it work, I jumped back in with both feet, making smart decisions whether I was eating at home or out, testing my willpower in some instances (i.e., no chips and salsa at Chili's!), and making new recipes that I have enjoyed all week long. I never once felt deprived or hungry or like I was missing out on something, even when choosing not to have the evil delicious chips and salsa at Chili's. To me, the points weren't worth it. I stuck to my points, walked a total of 24 miles since last Thursday, drank a lot of water, and took my vitamins.

Needless to say, I had high hopes when I went to the meeting this morning and got on the scale. Since last night I was thinking "oh no, what if despite all my hard work this week I didn't lose anything?" You never know with my body anymore. But, I was proven very wrong and I was very happy when I stepped on the scale and saw a 4 pound loss. GO ME!!!!

I walked out of there feeling very empowered, happy to have some sort of control over my body again after it has had a mind of it's own the last several months. I have a long road ahead of me and a lot of hard work to get it back to where I want to be, my "happy weight". But seeing that loss this morning tells me I CAN DO IT. My hard work will not go unnoticed.

It's only a matter of time that I will be more comfortable in my clothes and feel better in my skin. Thank you for once again showing me that I can eat healthy and enjoy it and that I don't need all that bad stuff that does nothing for me except stick to my hips.

Love,
Me

So far so good!

Today is my 4th day back on WW. I jumped back in with both feet and I'm feeling really good about it, glad I finally made the decision to go back, even if it meant going to a different location to fit it in.

Thursday, the day I re-joined, I came in right at my daily points without much planning. Friday was a little more challenging as we went out for lunch and dinner. I planned ahead for both and was  very proud of myself. Jason's Deli for lunch meant I could easily have a half of a turkey sandwich on wheat with mustard, lettuce, tomato, and avocado. it came with a small side of blue tortilla chips and salsa. Very filling. We went to Chili's for dinner and I didn't have any chips and salsa. Not. One. This is so freaking hard for me because endless chips and salsa are one of my most favorite things but I decided it wasn't worth it. Much different than the ones I had at lunch which weren't greasy and there was a set amount on my plate. I knew if I took one chip at dinner, I was done. I went into my weekly  points for the Margarita Grilled Chicken I had with black beans and rice but it was well worth it, and I didn't eat every single bite. I stopped when I was full.

Saturday after walking 9.34 miles I was pretty hungry, but amazingly didn't eat all my points for the day. We went to Jimmy John's for lunch, I knew I could have one of their Unwich lettuce wraps for hardly any points. IT WAS SO GOOD!!! So many things I want to try there and if I go the Unwich route, not many points at all for such a filling meal. For dinner I made tilapia with zucchini and tomatoes. Great day for good food, not once feeling deprived.

This morning, I had my first Starbucks in several days and boy was it worth the 3 points. I went to the store and stocked up on goodies to make a Cheesy Chili Mac and Mustard Vinaigrette dressing that I got from WW. I also planned ahead for meals, lunches, and snacks for the week. I love being prepared, it makes it so much easier. I am still on point for today.

I am feeling very empowered and proud of myself for doing this, and falling back into it so smoothly. I know the program works, I just need to take it one day at a time, and plan ahead. This is the biggest thing for me when I am so busy during the week. The more healthy choices I have, the less likely I will be to fall into the trap of eating anything - and everything - around me. I love that there are so many options for eating out and that I don't ever have to feel deprived of enjoying delicious food just because I am trying to be healthier.

I hope you all have a fabulous week!

Recipe: Tilapia with Zucchini and Tomatoes

I have been on a tilapia kick the past couple weeks after Publix had it on sale. I bought it and froze it in servings. It thaws quickly when you are ready to cook it. Each piece is approximately 3 oz.. Twice now I've made this dish and IT. IS. DELICIOUS. I thought I'd share the recipe on here for anyone who may be interested. And it is very WeightWatchers friendly.

Tilapia with Zucchini and Tomatoes

3oz. piece of tilapia
1/2 can Italian diced tomatoes
1/2 zucchini, slices
1/4 white onion, sliced
5 quartered artichoke hearts
Garlic powder
Oregano
Italian Seasoning
Basil
1/2 tsp. olive oil
1/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Serving: 1
WW Points Plus: 7   (deduct 3 points if you don't have the mozzarella cheese)

Put tilapia in small glass baking dish and add diced tomatoes (with juice). Add zucchini, onion, and artichoke hearts. Add seasonings and drizzle olive oil on top. Bake in oven on 375 degrees for approximately 20 minutes and broil on high for approximately 10 minutes. Add mozzarella cheese and broil until melted and browned.

This is a very filling and satisfying dish. No additional sides are needed!

Ready to go in oven...

Ready to eat! You can't even see the tilapia at the
bottom but it comes out so nice and flaky, it just
falls apart when you eat it. All the flavors
are fabulous together.

Starting over, again.

Today I did what I've been needing to do for awhile. There was no more denying my clothes not fitting like they used to, or my inability to control my appetite and how much I was eating. I needed something to keep me line since I can't seem to do it myself. I went back to Weight Watchers.

There is nothing like getting on the scale knowing it's going to read a number that is higher than you want it to be. Finding out just how high it is is even worse. I am all about being open and honest here on my blog, but for now, I don't want to admit what I weighed in at. It's higher than I've been in many many years and I don't like it. Not. One. Bit.

It's that kind of anger and frustration that I need to get me off my butt and do something about it. And I am the only one who can do it. I am excited about following the new PointsPlus program and see what all it has to offer. I am excited to plan my meals and have that structure that I need to stay on point.

I didn't stop going to Weight Watchers because I wanted to. I stopped going because when I got busy at work and needed every minute I could to do what I needed to and was bringing work home to do in the evenings, the easiest thing to give up to make time for that was my time at WW and working out. All of a sudden, my Friday mornings were spent wherever I had surveys or permitting or customer meetings, so I wasn't able to go to my WW meeting. When I would get home from work, instead of putting on my running shoes the minute I got home and running out the door, I was sitting down at my dining room table to continue to work on whatever I brought home with me. I was also eating whatever was quick and easy. All of this added up to extra pounds for me. Nobody's fault but mine. I didn't like it but I was doing what had to be done. This is where I need to find balance. I work to hard at work to keep things busy and I can't let being busy control my every minute and affect my wellness.

A good friend is doing WW too. I look forward to sharing recipes, thoughts, motivation, and more with her. I also just last night read a post on Colleen Bee Fit's blog about how she just reached her Lifetime weight goal. What an inspiration she is! Her before and after photos are incredible and she is so amazing. I guarantee you when I walked back in to Weight Watchers this morning, I was thinking about her meeting her goal. I want to again feel that excitement of getting to my goal weight and I want to br proud of myself for working my butt off.

It won't be easy. Lord knows my body doesn't respond like it used to. But nothing worth having is easy. It'll be hard to not eat everything in site and have to really limit those glasses of wine I so enjoy. On the flipside, I will enjoy foods that I love and I will be taking better care of myself. In return, I look forward to feeling better not only about how I look, but also about how I feel. I don't like being achy and sore all the time. My body is telling me something. And finally, I am listening. That is a very empowering thing.

I hope you'll follow me on my journey. Any support I can get is important to me and will motivate me to keep plugging away at this, one pound at a time, however long it takes.

Back to basics!

In my ongoing quest to figure out what I need to do to make this whole weight-loss thing work for me, I started thinking about how I did the first time I joined WW in January of 2006. The biggest thing that jumps out at me is that I didn't use eTools then. I tracked everything by hand. My little journal went everywhere with me. I would even write out my whole day ahead of time and actually stick to it. I kept all of those journals and pulled them out this morning to look at them. I was so organized, I labeled everyone when I finished it so I can go back and look at them in order. Here they are...

When I compare eTools to tracking by hand, the biggest difference is the ability to hold it in my hand and look through it. A lot of work went into these. Now, I'm not knocking eTools - this method works for many many people. And I tried it for quite awhile this time around, but I really think it's not for me. And I think that if I go back to the old fashioned way, it just may be that little something I need to help me get back into it. Back to basics.

I looked through journal #1 at what one day consiststed of food wise. There was no shortage of food. It was good for me and I don't remember being hungry. Here is what one day looked like, from the week I joined (and successfully lost 3 pounds in that week by staying on track).

At that time, I could have 22 points daily points. Under the new plan, I can have 29, and there are some days I can't make that work. Something to think about.

While we're at it, I fill you in on how I did that first time on WW. I joined on Jan. 14, 2006 and I weighed 156 pounds. I made my goal on June 17 when I hit 129.6 pounds. I set 130 as my goal weight that I wanted to maintain. I reached lifetime on August 5 weighing in at 128.4 pounds after 6 weeks of maintenance. I remember how great I felt, reaching that goal.

This time when I joined WW, I was 165.8 pounds. I have farther to go this time and it's harder. But I think if I get back to basics - and for me that means tracking by hand and having that actual journal to hold and write in and be able to go back and look at - I will do better. I *KNOW* I can do this, I can.

What do you do that works for you?

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Today's post will focus on the good, the bad, and the ugly of the last few days, in no particular order.

The good.... I walked this morning, at the park. I ignored the rain clouds looming over head and headed out. I walked, didn't run. I didn't set my tracker for a 5K, I just set it to basic and off I went. I walked for 1 hour and 24 seconds, 3.57 miles. I walked just to walk - not to beat my previous times, not to break any records. I just walked. And it was great. Rain and all. I don't know why I couldn't get my butt out there these last couple of weeks when it becomes so apparent how much I enjoy it the minute I start walking.
(note to self: come back often and read this post to remind yourself how important walking is no matter what kind of funk you are in.)

The bad... I gained 2 pounds this week. Honestly, I expected it especially after missing the meeting the week prior. The meetings are great for getting me on the right foot for the new week. If I lose, it keeps me motivated to continue doing what I'm doing. If I gain, it motivates me to work harder. So, I will own these 2 pounds that are now along for the ride on my butt or hips or wherever else they decided to attach themselves.

The ugly... With the 2pounds I have gained, it puts me at a total loss of only 6.6 pounds in the whole time I've been back at WW. The highest my loss has been was 12.2 pounds so I have gained half of that back. This is pretty disheartening but I have to remember that it's just not easy to lose weight and life just gets in the way. The first time I did WW, it wasn't "easy" but it was "easier" than this time. But my body is different this time, it's been through the ringer, poked, prodded, and more. Not to mention I'm 5 years older now. It's just not easy. But I'm not going to give up.

The good... I am not going to let this weight loss battle beat me. I am going to keep at it, do the best I can, and know that I am doing exactly that. It may not be easy, but it will not beat me.

The bad... After re-commiting myself to tracking again on Wednesday, I fell off the wagon yesterday and didn't track a single bit. <sigh> So, I am starting over again today to try for my #7daychip. I know I can do this. I'll pick myself back up and start again. Today is day 1.

The ugly... I overate in a big way at dinner last night. Nobody's fault but mine. I did it and I own it. Time to move on.

The good... On Wednesday, I committed to not having Starbucks until the weekend. I successfully met that challenge and rewarded myself with one this morning. It was super yummy and I enjoyed it. I tracked it, and all is right in the world.

The good... When I went to WW yesterday, Lorraine (our fearless leader) was so happy to see me and greeted me with a hug. She said she  had been worried about me all week. That made me feel good. It's people like her who keep those meetings going and keep us coming back. She has been in the same place we have, fought the same battles, and is there to offer her support in any way she can. Thank you Lorraine.

The good... After the WW meeting, I had a great talk with Tammy, a WW friend. We chat at each meeting, and on Facebook. We both enjoy walking, and seem to have the same struggles with time, with our bodies cooperating, and just trying to get that scale to go down. She told me she was worried about me, that I was looking a little defeated and to not give up. Our talk reminded me that it is really good to get back to basics and just keep plugging along, doing the best we can. Thank you Tammy, you're a doll.

I might have to make this a regular post... It's a good way to get things off my chest, things I need to face and deal with. That's the whole point of my blog. I already have tomorrow's post in mine, so stay tuned!

Let's do this.

I did it - I stuck to my promise and walked this morning. I had to go on the treadmill due to the rain and by the time I decided the rain wouldn't stop for me, I only had 30 minutes to get it done. I did 2 miles in 34:35. The miles seem to take so much longer on the treadmill and I am not sure why there seems to be such a time difference beetween walking outside and on the treadmill, but there is. Regardless, I did it. Day one of getting back to it.
I am setting some goals for myself and I want to share them with you. Some you've heard before, some maybe you have not.

• No Starbucks today, tomorrow, or Friday. They should be a rare treat on the weekends, not several days a week.
• Get back to drinking at least 64 oz. of water a day. Most days I meet this goal, but I need to do it EVERYDAY.
• Focus more on fruits and veggies and less on processed foods.
• Track every bite I take. This has fallen very low on my list of priorities and that needs to change. The busier I am, the harder this is so I just need to really focus on it.
• Walk 3 days a week, no less. More is good, but not less. I have to remember that even in this funk when I don't want to walk, I will feel much better after I've done it. Plain and simple.

Some of you may have heard about the #7daychip, maybe you have not. I've seen it fly by in Twitter posts and read about it on a couple different blogs I follow. Most recently I read about it over on Jen's blog, Jen In Real Life. She just got her #7daychip after setting a goal to track her food everyday. As she put it, she tracked everything for 8 days - the good, the bad, the ugly. If she can do it, so can I.

I visited the website for the #7daychip, which you can find here. You can read about Brad Gansberg and more on his website. The #7daychip is an acknowledgement of going 7 days without eating in an uncontrolled manner. You determine your own standards that you need to achieve this goal.

Since I want, NEED, to get back to tracking all of my foods, my goal is the same as Jen's. To track everything I eat for 8 days. The good, the bad, the ugly. When I'm done (notice I didn't say if), it will be a big accomplishment, one that will work side by side with my Weight Watchers goals. The goals that I know work when I do it.

With that said, I've already had 2 bottles of water this morning and I had oatmeal for breakfast, with soy milk and half an apple. Very filling.

Have any of you done the #7daychip? I'd love to hear about it if you have! Feel free to share some of your goals, too.

I'm here, I promise

That blah feeling I had on my last post (a week ago today, thank you) has certainly taken it's time skipping town. I haven't walked at all. For the first time in forever, my weekly dailymile report had 0 miles. Major guilt trip when I got that email. I've been eating a lot and making poor choices. And to top it off, I did not go to WW last Friday because I had a busy day ahead for work. My time at work and not at the meeting was well worth it, getting everything done that I needed to before the long weekend, but I should have gone to another meeting. I did not. I can't give you a good reason why because I don't know.

So, it's Tuesday afternoon and I have been home since 1pm. Internet was down and I had a big quote to get out for work. That requires internet. So I came home. I got the quote done as well as other things. Now would be the perfect time to go and walk, but I'm not. Instead I am roasting some zucchini because it sounded good. A little olive oil drizzle, some minced garlic, and italian seasoning. I've never made it this way and I had a whole pack of zucchini sitting in the fridge, just waiting to be used.

This morning I had a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks. Today was the first they had it and man it was good. I get mine with soy milk, it's that much creamier. I enjoyed every last drop of it. The problem is, this could VERY easily snowball into me wanting one every day. My waist AND my checkbook cannot afford that. So, I am putting the brakes on Starbucks starting now. I'll have to take an all or nothing approach with it at first and break this habit I've gotten back into over over the last couple of weeks. I'm sorry Starbucks, I'm not saying goodbye forever, just for a little bit. Perhaps you'll see me on the weekend. It's not you, it's me. Promise.

As for my walking, or lack thereof, I have to make a change. I have missed walking, but have also enjoyed the lack of pain in my foot. So, as soon as I can, I am buying a pair of inserts for my shoes as suggested by my brother. We'll give that a shot. I am also going to switch things up and go back to walking in the morning - STARTING TOMORROW. To be able to get it done first thing, at least for the next few weeks, will be nice. I have some guilt about neglecting other things around the house by walking in the afternoon when I get home so the mornings will be a good choice for now.

The wonderful thing is, I have now told the world my plans so now I have to do it. Should anyone feel the urge to check up on me and make sure I'm actually doing these things, I welcome the accountability. You know where and how to find me.

Wait, what?

Good grief, Charlie Brown. Has it really been over a week, almost 2 actually, since I last updated my blog? I've meant to update it several times but for some reason I have not. Chalk it off to the funkiness I have been in, I guess.

My last post was about evil bloated woman where I gained 3.4 pounds. &^%#%@ Yea, 3.4 lbs.. Mind you, no one forced the food down my throat or twisted my arm to eat whatever bad foods I ate that I probably should not have. But when evil bloated woman is here, I have NO self control. NONE. Really, I don't.

Moving past the 3.4 lb. gain, the next day I walked 13 miles with my fabulous sister-in-law. Have I mentioned how much I enjoy those walks? The high that I feel when done with that kind of walk should keep me going for a great start to the week leading up to the next weigh-in. But not last week. I didn't walk the Sunday after. And not that Monday. I did do a strength training work out (which, by the way, I felt for days). On Tuesday I walked 3.11 miles. I wanted to run, but my legs could not would not do it. Regardless, I walked it and got it done. On Wednesday, I did nothing. Nada. Same on Thursday. Thursday is normally a no workout day anyhow, but the guilt was there since I skipped the day before. When I walked into WW on Friday, I had no idea what the scale would say. Whatever it said, though, I would have to own it. I am the one who decided to not workout when I could have, or to eat whatever it was I should not have. Amazingly, I was down 1 pound. Honestly, I think the pound I lost was the fact that evil bloated woman was finally gone, at least until she rears her ugly head again in a few weeks.

That 1.0 lb. loss gave me a little jump start,. I was happy. I was even happier when my sister-in-law and I walked 14 miles on Saturday. That is nothing to sneeze at, my friends. It was a HARD walk this week. It was hot and humid and when we were done, my feet (especially my right foot) was screaming at me. My SIL had to stop at mile 12 due to blisters on her feet. It was brutal. But we gave it our best. I burned ALOT of calories, 1239 calories to be exact. Again, this should have kept me going into this week.

Where did this funk come from? Why I am so blah this past week and not really caring about what food choices I make? It's irritating, and to be quite honest, scary. I don't want to give up, I don't want to quit, but I feel like something else is controlling me.

I got home yesterday and should have walked. It was raining so I didn't. I should have gone on the treadmill, but I didn't. I got home today, no rain, a little bit of a breeze - I should have walked. But I didn't. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME??

Someone needs to give me a virtual slap or something. I don't know what needs to happen, but I have got to snap out of this funkiness. I don't want to be tired and blah and just whatever. I don't. I want to be that girl who comes home, changes quickly, and runs out the front door and knocks out 3.11 miles as quickly as I can. I want to walk back in the house, dripping with sweat, and post what I did, and enjoy the rest of my evening knowing I busted my butt.

If anyone can help me find that girl that does those things, I'll be eternally grateful. I'm really not sure where she is this week. I need her.

You know what time it is.... BYOC!!!

If you follow my blog, surely you know what BYOC is by now. I got this from my fave blogger Joanna, which she got from Drazil. I follow both of them. If you haven’t checked them out, now is the time to do so. After you read mine, of course. J Here goes...

I’m going to pick a person in your life – not knowing if you have a good or bad, existing or non-existent relationship with them – and your mission is to pick 5 words or traits or thoughts to describe them.
Your paternal grandmother.

      This is a really hard one….  She passed away when I was only 6 months old so I never knew her.  So,   this answer will be based on pictures I have seen of her.

Fashionable

Serious

Strong

Well-travelled

Stern

     I *really* wish I could answer this better and from actually knowing her. =(

What’s your all time favorite color to paint your nails? And your toes?

 My fave color for my toes is an OPI color, I’m Not Really A Waitress. I used to have a bottle at home and would take it with me when I had a pedi. I haven’t had a pedi in forever, not do I have the color anymore but I love it. It’s a dark red color.

I am a clear polish girl for my nails, when I have nails to paint. Color does not stay on me, it will always chip. When I used ot have my nails done, I would do French manicure but that requires nails other than mine. =)

Do you get along with your parents well?

This is an easy one – YES. My mom and I are best friends. We work together and get along very well and support each other in everything. =)

My dad and I were very close. I miss him so much. =(

Speaking of rainbows – rank the rainbow colors in the order you prefer.

Pink

Red

Blue

Yellow

Orange

Green

Purple

Pink is my first choice because it is my niece’s favorite color. Her whole world is pink and it’s adorable.

Repeat question. How was your week in real life and in blog land this week?

In real life, I busted my ass this week. I worked out hard, made some changes to my food choices, kept up the water, and it all paid off when I got on the scale this morning at WW and was down 2.4 pounds. I was ecstatic because I gained 2.6 pounds last week, so of course I had to get rid of those before I can move on. So now it’s time to move on to the next couple of pounds that is between me and my goal. Slowly but surely I will get there.

In blog land, I have been keeping up with my fave blogs although I have not had time to comment on them. I feel bad about that but working out hard means something has to give. But if I follow you, know I am reading up on your posts. J I wrote a pretty deep post on Wednesday about my dad. It was hard to write, I sat on it for a few days, but I’m glad I put it out there. It made me feel a little better. As I say each week, I hope to keep up with my blog this coming week and keep everyone entertained and coming back for more.

If you do your own BYOC, be sure to let me know so I can read it!

Saturday randomness

What a nice day this has been so far! My morning started with a 7.88 mile training walk with my sister-in-law Jenna. She is doing the Susan G. Komen 3-Day For The Cure walk in October and has training walks pretty often. I did one with her a few weeks ago, 6 miles. Today's was just short of 8 miles and we ROCKED IT! I really enjoy walking with Jenna... We keep a great pace together and there is always plenty to talk about. Here's a picture from this morning when we finished.... You can tell that I was super sweaty and icky and I felt totally gross when done, but it was worth it. And can I just say, for the record, that I love how my shoulders are starting to look again. After looking at this picture again, it makes me feel good to know the hard work and effort I am putting out is paying off.

Me and Jenna

After our walk we went to Starbucks (the big green logo behind us gave that one away) for a much needed caffeine fix for me. Jenna had TWO passion iced teas. I think that is awesome. Even better, the passion tea is pink, perfect color for the cause.

After going home for a much needed shower, I had suddent motivation to not only go grocery shopping but also to the produce market. The amount of money you can save at the produce market is crazy. We are fortunate to have one about two miles away and it's great. I went there first to stock up... Baking potatoes, green cabbage, cucumbers, zucchini, mushrooms, onions, apples, plums, and fresh garlic. Then it was off to the grocery store. I got stuff to make WW 0-point garden vegetable soup, always good to have on hand, and some shrimp to make a new WW recipe. Mmmmm, can't wait to make it.

I spent the last 2 hours in the kitchen making the soup, putting all my groceries away, and making devils food spice cupcakes. SUPER easy to make, just mix with a can pf pure pumpkin and bake. They are super moist and fewer points since there is no egg or oil. I put buttercream icing on half of them for my hubby so he can get his sweet tooth fix but left mine plain. De-lish!!

There is laundry going now and I foresee a nap in my future. I'm going to curl up with my book and I bet within a short time I fall asleep. I have been a busy girl today!

I hope you are all  having a GREAT Saturday!!

Give and Take

This past week marked 16 weeks back at WW for me. I had a gain, as expected, after the long holiday weekend of the 4th and a busy week. I need to work on being more prepared for the busy weeks so I stop using that as an excuse handle them better.

Let's start with my stats:
Current weight:  155.6
Total  lost: 10.2
This loss is down from 12.2 lbs. lost back on 06/03/11

Having been back at WW for 16 weeks now, I have been reminded how so much of it is give and take. Part of WW is learning how to handle different situations and to make wise decisions when it comes to eating. I do my best to always have fruit in the fridge, LOTS of water, and dinner is my biggest protein meal of the day. I also don't eat after 8:30 pm. 

Where I struggle is lunch during the week. My stress level has a tendency to dictate how good or bad I will be for lunch. The smoother my day is going, the better I'm going to be. If it is a bad day, all good intentions go out the window. Even if I started out the day by packing a lunch and calculating my points for the day, it doesn't matter at that point.

This is where that give and take comes in. If I give 110% and do everything I can - eat right, drinnk plenty of water, and get in plenty of activity - I will more than likely see results when I weigh-in. If I don't do all those things, it will also be reflected on the scale.

I am in control of my destiny on that scale. How hard do I want to work each week to make it happen? Do I want to kill myself to lose the weight as soon as possible? NO. Slow and steady whens the race... Do I want to do my best when I can yet still enjoy life and eating out and family meals, etc.... YES.

Would I like to be a little farther in my weight loss journey at this 16 week mark? YES. Maybe at my 10%.... Am I going to stress over it? NO. I made choices throughout these 16 weeks and this is where I am so far. Being down 10.2 lbs. is nothing to sneeze at. And that is going to keep me going.

A couple goals I am setting for myself this week:
- Keep up the 64 oz. of water a day. A couple days this week I did not meet that goal. I am also going to get back to posting it on FB when I reach my goal each day - helps to keep me accountable.
- Do my best to make time to walk at least 4 days this week, despite how busy I am.

What are some of your goals for the week?

I'm not sorry

Remember my guest blogger I had awhile back, Joanna from Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman? I love her blog, I read it daily. Of all the ones I follow, I find myself looking for her updates first. As a reminder, here is her guest post on my blog. One of the things I love most about her is that she is very real. She has daily struggles and she is not afraid to be honest and an open book.

Anyhow, today on her blog she blogged about not being sorry about things. I LOVE THIS. It can be the smallest thing or the biggest thing, it doesn't matter. It's important to her and she knows enough to not be sorry for it. So, you probably know where I'm going.... I am copying her idea and doing my own. Here we go.

I AM NOT SORRY for having McDonald's for lunch today. I drove 200 miles round trip today for work and the last thing on my mind was having a salad or some such point-friendly meal. We went through the drive through and I had a hamburger, fries, and coke and I enjoyed every single fattening, high-point, delicious bite of it. I have had a love affair with McD's french fries since I was a little girl and today was no different. What makes them so damn good?!

I AM NOT SORRY that I played hooky from work on Tuesday. Yes I had work to do and would have kept myself quite busy with it but it was so much fun to take Autumn to the sprayground and watch her play. How could I possibly choose work over fun time with her when given the option?

I AM NOT SORRY for hating Casey Anthony. She is a rotten, evil, disgusting person and I cannot believe she will go free next week. She was lucky enough to have a child and not only did she not care but she killed her and will walk free. Seriously, I HATE her.

I AM NOT SORRY for the time I take for myself to walk. I do stuff for other people all day long, walking is MY time. I need that time to unwind, clear my head, and for my mental health.

I AM NOT SORRY for being the strong-willed person that I am. My feelings about things that are important to me and I will stand behind them. If you don't like it, too damn bad.

I AM NOT SORRY for the effort we put forth to try and have a child. While I do not like the financial aspect of it, I know that we tried everything we could given our health and financial conditions.

I AM NOT SORRY that I am so picky about the people that I choose to trust and let into my little world.

I AM NOT SORRY for the hard work that my hubby and I put ourselves through because I know we both work hard to provide for each other. I do wish things weren't so hard all the time but I am not sorry for the time we put in.

I AM NOT SORRY for the attempts I make at being a better person, even if it doesn't work.

I AM NOT SORRY that I did not work out last night as I got to spend time with my hubby.

I AM NOT SORRY that much of our Saturday and Sunday were spent at home or running errands because ultimately it meant time spent together. No matter what we do, anytime spent with hubby is fine by me. And lately it seems like it's less and less.

I AM NOT SORRY that I don't get on a scale more than once a week. We have not had a working scale here at home in a few years and the only time I get on a scale is on Friday mornings at WW. I am not sorry that I no longer put myself through the torture of getting on the scale every single morning and seeing numbers fluctuate as much as 5 pounds in a day. For me, weighing myself daily does not work. It only feeds my OCD-tendencies and drives me insane.

And the scale says...

I went to WW yesterday, unsure what the scale would say. After being sick and missing the meeting last week, and only walking twice in the past two weeks, I thought it might be up. I was pleasantly surprised to see a 1 lb. loss.

Weight:  154.4 lbs.
Total loss:  11.4 lbs.
I am 0.80 lbs. away from my lowest which was on 06/03/11. I had two gains since then so this loss made me happy. I am still trying to get to my next goal of 16 lbs. total, which will be 10% and almost halfway to my goal of 130 lbs..

I walked this morning at the park with hubby and the dogs. With the heat we've had, I have not been walking the dogs like I used to. But there was actually a cool breeze this morning and I thought it would be a great start to the long weekend. We walked 2.16 miles in 59 minutes - very slow but still a great walk. Blue and Ozzie enjoy getting out as much as I do.

My goals for this coming week are:
- keep up with my 64 oz. of water a day, which I have done very well with
- restock the fridge with fresh fruits for 0 point snacks
- make garden vegetable soup for lunches which is very filling
- walk at least 4 days this week

What are your goals?

Bad blogger...

I am a bad blogger. I have not blogged in over a week. I have been busy and not feeling well, but I should have had time to blog. Looks like I have some catching up to do on this one.

• A week ago Friday, I had a gain at WW. I do not like the weeks that I gain. I know they are bound to happen, but I would be a happier girl if they did not.
• A week ago Saturday, I walked a 6-mile training walk with my fabulous sister-in-law Jenna. She is doing the Tampa Bay 3-Day For The Cure Walk this fall. You can find her blog here. While you are here, will you consider making a donation? She is so close to reaching the amount needed to walk.
• A week ago Sunday was Father's Day, our first without my dad. We started the morning at the Bay Pines VA National Cemetery in St. Petersburg to place flowers and a balloon. I, of course, cried like a baby. This year of firsts is proving to be as hard as I expected. I cannot express in words how much I miss him. That same day we went out to dinner for my hubby's birthday and Father's Day. Hubby chose to go to one of my dad's favorite restaurants and then to Crystal Beach for another beautiful sunset in honor of my dad. They just get more and more beautiful.

Flowers and a balloon for Daddy...

So pretty and serene at Bay Pines VA National Cemetery

Another beautiful sunset at Crystal Beach

• This was a hard week for work. We had a big project to do and everything had to happen just right to get it done. Amazingly enough, it all worked out. Probably I stressed more than necessary but how do I know that my stress didn't help get it done? I will never know.
• I started feeling sick on Wednesday (about a week and a half after my hubby and sister-in-law had been sick). I felt like I had been run over and I had a fever. I never have a fever. I was cold and exhausted. After going out to dinner with hubby for his birthday, I made myself comfy on the couch with a dose of Nyquil. I stayed home Thursday with a fever all day. Not fun.
• Despite knowing better, I worked most of Friday. I went in around 10:30 and got home at 4:30. I had to get things done so that I could enjoy my weekend and not stress over getting it all done on Monday. I was exhausted when I got home and was feeling run down again.
• I did not walk at all this week - not since last Sunday. I HATE that I have not walked and had I known on Monday and Tuesday that I would have been sick Wednesday, I would have made time to do it. I really wish my darn crystal ball would work.
• For the first time since going back to WW, I missed yesterday's meeting to avoid getting people sick. I am sure the scale would not have been kind to me but I still missed the meeting, the support, and the chit chat. Next week!!
• Today was supposed to be our monthly crop but I cancelled it since I've been sick. I still think this bug is hanging on, so best to not get others sick, but I'm bummed to not have the girl time. I will do some digi-scrapping today on my own. My hubby did make my morning, though, by getting me Starbucks. The key to this girls' heart is caffeine.

That's it in a nutshell. I am happy to have alot of downtime this weekend to sleep, read, watch movies, and more.

It's like a drug

After a great walk / run last Saturday, I skipped Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Sunday got away from me without it happening and Monday and Tuesday were busy work days and I was beat by the time I got home. EXCUSES, I know. By the time yesterday evening got here, I told hubby I HAD to go and walk. It was a necessity. So off I went. And man it felt great.

I set my super cool Nike+ GPS app on my handy dandy iPhone for a 5k and off I went. I had finally loaded some music on my phone and imported it into the app and enjoyed having music in my ears while I walked my little heart out. Back a few years ago, my last time on WW, when I was running alot, I would pick an artist randomly and whenever one of their songs came on, I would run. For yesterday, my artist of choice was System of a Down, what I like to refer to as my rage music. Wouldn't you know, several of their songs played for me so I got some good running in. My heart was pounding and I was a hot sweaty mess but it was great.

I can honestly say that walking / running is like a drug to me. No other exercise has that effect on me. I can be in the worst mood or stressed out or whatever, but when I'm done with my walk, I am a different person. So when I said yesterday that I needed to walk, I meant it.

Having only walked 3 days since my last weigh-in last Friday, we'll see how tomorrow's weigh-in goes. I don't really have any gut feelings on it right now. I've been keeping up with my 64 oz. of water a day which I know has been a big help. We will see tomorrow morning!!

An ah-ha moment!

I have been waiting for a moment such as this and it happened earlier today, making me smile in the midst of my crazy day. So much so that I am taking time out of the craziness to actually share it with everyone who is interested. Ready? Here goes....

My waist feels smaller and my shorts are too big on me.

I know what the scale says, that I've lost 10.8 lbs. (as of last week's weigh-in). But I had not yet had such a big ah-ha moment where I FELT like I was down 10.8 lbs. - until today. (I did comment to hubby last week that I felt like my hips were slimming down some, but it was not such a huge moment as this one).

It drives my hubby insane when I talk about losing weight. He, of course, thinks I'm perfect and that I don't need to lose weight. He loves me the way that I am. And Lord knows I love him a bazillion times over for that. (I would like to add here that even though he thinks I don't need to lose weight, he is very supportive of me being on WW and is proud of me when I have a good week and helps me get through the bad weigh-ins). But, back to my thought, I'm not doing this for him. I'm doing it for ME. I am the one stuck with this body and it is up to me to make the most of it. The joy of being able to wear the clothes that are currently too small for me in my closet will bring me immense happiness and will remind me that once again, I was able to take charge and feel better about how I look and feel. I will never be skinny, it's not in my genes to be skinny. I will always have curves and muscles, but I want to not stress over what I'm wearing for fear of it looking funny and not feeling comfortable in my skin. I want to be healthy. Bottom line.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's weigh-in update... I really feel like it could go either way. After having a 2 lb. loss two weeks in a row, I feel like it's more likely to have a gain. I did splurge on a couple meals this week (including Cold Stone!!) but I also walked ALOT and I've been keeping up with my 64 oz. of water a day. It's hard to not always focus on what the scale says, sometimes it's how our clothes fit. So, we shall see... Either way, I am ecstatic about my ah-ha moment.

Bye-bye 10 lbs...

Actually, 10.8 lbs. to be exact... The last two weeks, I've had a 2 lb. loss each week. The losses definitely make up for the gains and the frustration and irritation that goes along with it. Sometimes, even when we do everything right, our bodies still do not respond. But when my body does respond, it makes me very happy and it is very gratifying, and that motivates me ALOT.

So in my 12 weeks on WW, I have lost a total of 10.8 pounds, which puts me at 155. My ultimate goal is 130. My next goal is to reach my 10% which will put me in the 140's - I cannot wait to hit my 10%!

Here's a photo my hubby took of me on Friday. I figured after losing 10 lbs., it was time for a progress picture.

I cannot believe I never blogged about last Sunday, but I walked TWO 5k's for the WW Walk-It Challenge. My mom and hubby both joined me on the first one in the morning, which was in beautiful downtown St. Petersburg by the Vinoy. Our fearless leader Lorraine joined us for a bit and my friend Tammy from our meeting walked with us also. It was such a nice morning. That afternoon, my hubby and I also walked the one at the park by our house. It was great also, although much warmer than the morning one. By the time the day was over, we had also walked the dogs 2 miles. 8 miles in one day!

The biggest thing that I think has helped me the last two weeks is my water intake. I've made sure to have at least 64 oz. every day. It is the one thing I can really control even when I'm at my busiest and I am going to continue to make it a priority.

A busy week and a happy weigh-in!

It's been a week since my last blog post - I hate that I haven't had time all week to update. So, I sit here now with my cup 'o coffee, watching the sun come up outside my kitchen window, ready to do just that.

It was a BUSY week!!! On Tuesday evening, I met up with a friend from elementary school (in Maryland) who I have not seen since then. We re-connected on Facebook a few months ago and she was in town this week for business. Hubby and I met her for dinner. It was GREAT to see her! Amazing how much has changed in 28 years time. I hope that we see each other again the next time she comes to town.

On Wednesday, I was at the Hula Dog Yappy Hour to promote Creative Memories, specifically my page prints. For any pages that are purchased from an event, I will donate 30% to the Humane Society of Pinellas County. This was my first event with them and I have pages to design, a free page to give away, and I am hopeful there will be some purchases so I can make a donation. The Humane Society of Pinellas is where we got our sweet Ozzie from - they are absolutely wonderful over there.

Thursday was agility class with Blue. He was VERY saucy in class and barked his little head off when he wasn't being paid attention to. He is doing good in the tunnel, over the a-frame, on the platform, and the through the weave poles. He has a lot of work to do, or I should say, "I" have a lot of work to do. I feel bad that I do't have more time to work with him but the time we do work on stuff, he does well. And he has fun. That makes me happy.

I walked 3 mornings (M, T, Th) and did not do any TaeBo. I tried to eat the best I could given the state of craziness I was in. The biggest thing I did this week, which I started last Saturday, was to drink AT LEAST 64 oz. of water every day. After last week's disappointing weigh-in, having gained weight 2 weeks in a row, I knew I had to do something different. I knew I wasn't drinking as much water as I should and with the busy week I had planned, I felt that was one thing I could do and keep control of. My eating was not the best with all the running around I was doing but it helped staying focused on the water.

So.... I was down 2 lbs. this week!! I didn't know what I was going to do if I had another gain, but I didn't. And seeing that -2.0 lbs. show up guarantees I will keep up my goal of at least 64 oz. of water every day.

Here are my stats for Week 11 on WW:
Weight: 157.0 lbs.
Total: 8.8 lbs. lost
Ultimately I would love to hit the 10 pound mark next week  - that is my goal!

This weekend is busy - a crop today (yay for girl time!) and the WW Walk-It 5K tomorrow morning, but after that my week should be more normal with time to get my TaeBo in and make dinner at home.

May Your Way Check-In: May 11

Geez, it's Wednesday AGAIN. Where is May going?? And why is it so hard to accomplish things this month? I know, wah, wah, wah... Could I get some cheese with that wine?

So last week my check-in was alot of worry over my impending WW weigh-in which happens Friday mornings. I was right to be worried because I gained 1.2 pounds. I expressed my concern over how I am the only one who can make things happen in my favor. At the end of the day, it is ALL ABOUT ME.

Last week's *SisterSays* mission was attempted,  but not achieved. I did not get in 64 oz. of water a day. On the days I kept track, I came close. I really need to work on this more because I love water and there are times when I can't get enough of it. I need to get back to that place.

This week's *SisterSays* mission of 5 servings of fruits and veggies ever day should really be easy for me. Every day I have a big salad with lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, and artichokes. I also have mango or pineapple, sometimes both. Then there is a veggie of some sort with dinner. I'm pretty sure I'll rock this week's mission.

I set a new goal for myself this week to help get me back on track with working out after last week's big fat 0 in the workout department. To get my 15 miles a week in, I have decided to walk in the mornings so it's done and I don't stress when I get home about things I should be doing when I am walking. So far I walked yesterday morning and this morning. I already met my weekly goal of TaeBo 2 days a week. I did it Monday and today. Being that it's just Wednesday, I am hoping to get a bonus day in as well. Fingers crossed.

I have not been on the scale since last Friday at WW. I won't get on one until this Friday at WW. I do not have a scale at home, nor do I want one. The urge to get on it daily would be more than I can handle and it would hurt me more than it would help me.

I took part in SisterChat on Monday - it was fun. I love all the ramblings of cool women striving for the same thing as me. Before I had to log off, there were many topics being discussed. I like that and I am excited to join in again next Monday.

So, in closing.... I will continue with my personal goal of walking every morning and TaeBo twice a week, get back to drinking those 64 oz. of water a day, and keep up my good habit of eating 5 servings of fruits and veggies every day. I can do this!!

Anyone following my blog who is interested in joining in the fun that is May Your Way, visit Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans . Everyone over there ROCKS!