Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Running through the tears...

I had a good walk/run today despite the unbelievable humidity. But in typical fashion, the run part of my efforts turned into me into a blubbering, teary-eyed mess. I am not sure why, but it's more common than not for me to cry when I run. I am not a pretty runner or even a good runner, but it's certainly not physical pain prompting my tears.

Between the endorphins that are kicking and just the release I feel in being outside and taking time for myself, I start really thinking about my dad, and on come the tears.

I miss my dad and wish so much that I could talk to him and see him and hug him. I think of him many times, every day, but I am so busy that those thoughts and memories, sadly, tend to get pushed aside in the craziness of my day. But when I am running and I have the miracle of an off-switch for the work stress and more that floods my mind daily, the thoughts of my dad fill my heart and mind.

I am okay with the tears and the thoughts I have of him durning my run. But it sure makes it tricky to see some times. By the time I am done, I am totally d-o-n-e. Worn out and exhausted. I have always said that walking is my therapy and good for my mental health, and for the depression tendencies I naturally have. I believe that even more after I've had a good cry, running through the park. I need that time that I take for myself, tears, thoughts of my dad, and all.

2 comments:

  1. I totally get you on this one. Although, my crying is a little more theraputically negative.

    My running time usually turns in to me thinking about not finding a job, stressing, questioning myself... and on come the tears.

    I end up feeling better once I'm finished - but I haven't been running in a while cause it's so dangerously hot outside.

    Maybe that's just an excuse. Maybe I'd feel so much better if I just sucked it up - and faced the heat and went for a walk, at least.

    Thanks for this - definitely food for thought. :)

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  2. Thanks Joanna - that was a tough one to write but I'm glad I did.

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