Sunshiney Sunday

After my 10 mile walk yesterday, which is approx. 6 1/2 miles more than I would do on an average day, I thought that I might not walk today. I would leave that decision until this morning, but I know when I was thinking about it last night, the idea of laying on the sofa all day sounded pretty nice.

Hubby went to play paintball this morning and I found myself craving the sunshine and I decided I would go out and walk. No running today, all walking. Not wanting to necessarily go to the park, I took the opportunity to go to downtown Clearwater to walk the causeway over to the beach. Plenty of sunshine there.

I filled my Camelbak with ice cold water and off I went. There is parking at the base of the causeway bridge (shaded no less!). I walked all the way over the causeway, south on the main strip and then back up again to the pier before heading back over the causeway. It was H-O-T and I was definitely getting my share of sunshine on my shoulders. This girl loves to be tan and I am loving the sunkissed look of my shoulders now.

I contemplated going over the bridge once more when I got back to my starting point but by the time I got there, I had walked 5.30 miles in 1 hr. 31 min. and I was tired, soaked with sweat, and hot as hell. I decided best not to be stupid about it and quit while I was ahead. As it is, my hubby wanted me to text him when I was done just so he wouldn't worry about me in the heat. Even at 10 am this morning the heat index was in the upper 90's and the UV index was VERY high at 10. Hence, my super sunkissed shoulders today. =)

I've walked a total of 15.30 miles in the past 2 days. That is more than I do in most weeks. I could not walk the rest of the week and be ahead of the game. Or I could walk as much as I can this week and see if I can hit 30 miles for the week. I wonder which one I'll do....

So now that the walk is behind me, I've had a fantastic cool shower, and put aloe lotion on, I am ready to take over my spot again on the sofa, guilt free.

Enjoy your Sunday!

Beautiful white sand of Clearwater Beach - such pretty scenery to walk past

View of Sand Key from the Memorial Causeway

My route to the beach and back - 5.30 miles

10 miles!

This morning, my SIL Jenna and I walked a 10 mile training walk for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day For The Cure walk she is doing in October. Given that I haven't walked in over a week, this was a GREAT way to jumpstart this new week. I am determined to give it my best this week and see how the scale responds on Friday.

But back to our walk.... We started out doing 6 miles. The view is so pretty, overlooking Tampa Bay and beautiful homes along Bayshore Blvd. in Safety Harbor. How is this for a view?

Overlooking Tampa Bay in Safety Harbor

At the 6 mile mark, we had a pit stop. We were welcomed with cold water, fresh fruit, salty snack, and the best part - ice cold towels. I immediately wrapped the towel around my neck, it was heavenly. They had chairs set up in the shade, so we sat for a few minutes to rest our feet. It was a nice break. Here we are enjoying the break.

The ice cold towels were AWESOME!

Soon we were on our way to do the last 4 miles. It went by pretty quickly and we felt very empowered when we hit the 10 mile mark. Our time was 3 hrs. 5 minutes, not bad at all. My foot was bothering me but nothing that held me back. As always, I enjoy Jenna's company when we're walking and I am happy to support her in her training. It's a win-win situation. =)

We had breakfast at a local grill afterwards - boy was I hungry!! It was nice to sit down, in air conditioning, and enjoy a nice meal. One of the ladies we walked with, Debbie, joined us. Great conversation and a feeling of accomplishment made for such a nice morning.

Hot and sweaty and ready for breakfast!

I look forward to the next training walk with Jenna!

Time for a little BYOC!!!

It’s FRIDAY!!! TGIF!!! In blog land, this means it’s BYOC (Bring Your Own Crazy), some random question answering that helps you to get to know me a little better and have some insight into the silliness that is me.

Everyone knows I follow Joanna’s blog over at Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman and she does BYOC. We both follow Draz’s blog over at It's Just Me, Drazil, & Sheniqua, and she does BYOC. Hence BYOC here on my blog. I had to join in the fun.

1. Sun or rain? Roses or tulips? Romantic movie or comedy?

Given the fact that I live in Florida, the sunshine state, there is a lot of sun. But we also have a lot of rain, depending on the time of year. I prefer sun, does much better for my mood than rain, especially during the day. However,  if I am home for the night, I do love a good rain when I’m all cozy in my bed.

I’m not much of a flower person, but I would pick roses for sure.

I love both romantic movies and comedies. My hubby is a fan of both also and will watch the same movies over and over with me. (shhhh, I didn’t tell anyone that, especially the part about how he likes romantic movies). J

2.  Draz has been sick lately and hasn't eaten in two days - except for ice cream...which leads her to ask - what's your favorite ice cream flavor?

Tricky question… It all depends on where I get the ice cream. If it’s from Cold Stone, I love the Cake N Shake (yummy cake batter flavored ice cream, which I may as well apply directly to my hips). If it’s from DQ, I like their vanilla with cheery sundae topping – very simple and super yummy. If it’s from Toppers, a local ice cream shop close to my house, I like their birthday cake twist (evil) OR their sugar-free non-fat chocolate with bananas. And then there are the options of store-bought ice cream.  Ben N Jerry’s Smores or Cake Batter flavors are yummy and evil all at once. I also like Weight Watchers Dark Chocolate Raspberry bars. And lastly, if I buy the Publix store brand, my favorite and most evil of all is Cappuccino Fudge Blitz – OMG, I could drown myself in the container.

You probably think I eat a lot fo ice cream given my lengthy answer, but I really don’t. J

3. Are you a door locker - in your house and car?

Oh yea, OCD door locker here...  I will check the door at least 3 times when I am the last one to leave the house.  My car locks itself when I start driving, but if it did not, I would do it.

Funny thing is, I am not OCD about locking the door when I am home. I mean, I lock the door, but I do it and it’s done. No double-checking and triple checking. Also, if I leave the house with my hubby and he locks the door, I have no question about him locking it. It takes the pressure off me to do it.

I know, I’M WEIRD.

4. In the spirit of Draz being sick and wanting to die - tell me your "go to remedies" for when you are sick?

Thankfully, I *rarely* get sick. I know, I am lucky. If I do or if I’m feeling under the weather, I have a few tricks up my sleeves that usually work. Take a hot bath (works for aches and pains), take Nyquil (usually knocking myself out will help me sleep and wake up feeling better), a humidifier works for a stuffy nose, and ice pack on the back of my neck will help with a headache.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.

My week in blog land was almost non-existent, being so busy in real life. In real life, we have family in town which meant for a lot of fun, laughing, game-playing, and (sigh) weight gain. I am up 2.6 lbs. this week as of my WW weigh-in this morning. I knew it was going to be up and I don’t regret any of the fun we had that kept me busy and away from my much-needed routine of walking and eating well. But, I’m kind of getting tired of hearing myself say that I had a weight gain and oh yeah, I expected it. Blah, blah, blah. Tomorrow is day 1 of a what I will strive to make a week of healthy eating choices and activity, starting with a 10-mile walk with my sister-in-law.

I hope you all have a great weekend!! If you happen to do your own BYOC, please let me know so I can visit your blog and read your answers!

Back to life, back to reality...

Sorry to have been MIA in blogland much of this last week. As you saw in my last post, two of my aunts were visiting from California. We had a fun filled week, that is for sure. It's not often I get to play tourist myself, but I did and was reminded of the great places we have here that I do not frequent enough. A few places we went that I should go to more often...

Honeymoon Island Beach
Sponge Docks in Tarpon Springs
Johns Pass in Madeira Beach

And here are a few of my favorite photos from our fun-filled week...

Nick, Jenna, and Autumn being silly at Ozona Pig

Girl time! Darlene, Mommy, Jenni, me, and BJ at Crystal Beach

BJ, Darlene, and Mommy at Honeymoon Island

Mike, our niece Autumn, and I at John Chesnut Park.

Family at John Chesnut Park

Besides having fun in the sun, there was also a lot of Scrabble and card playing. I played when I could - nothing like a good Scrabble game. I know my mom and aunts were up to the wee hours of the morning playing each night.

The best part oftheir visit is the laughter and togetherness they bring with them. Their visit was a wonderful distraction from the daily grind we are used to. Work, work, work is the norm for us. My mom and I did the bare minimum for work while they were here and enjoyed free time with them.

They went home Tuesday afternoon. Talk about being bummed out...  :( It was certainly sad to see them leave, we came crashing back down into the work, work, work routine we are used to. I can't wait until we see them again.

So now it's back to life, back to reality...Most importanly for me this means back to eating right. Of course it's Thursday and they left Tuesday and I still have yet to get back there. I had the chance yesterday but didn't. Pizza and beer for dinner is not the best choice. Tomorrow's weigh-in will be interesting to say the least. We ate out ALOT and enjoyed Starbucks more than I normally do. The scale has every reason to be up tomorrow, so I am prepared. I won't like it, but I am prepared. I worked my butt off and walked 20+ miles before they arrived, knowing I would not have time to walk while they were here. It's been 8 days since my last walk. Thankfully, I'll be walking a 10-mile training walk with my sister-in-law on Saturday morning. I know that is going to give me a good jump start for the next week. I have got to get back in the right mindset and focus on getting to my 10% goal. I HAVE TO.

I also hope to be back in blogland daily now. I missed it. Oh, and today in the mail I received my Skinny Cow Chocolate Candy coupons that I won from Joanna over at Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman. Can't wait to get my free goodies and try them. Thanks again Joanna!

Small favor to ask of you today... Could you take a moment to visit my sister-in-law's blog and consider making a donation? You can find her over at Healthy Hooters and she is raising money for the Susan G, Komen 3 Day For The Cure walk coming up in October.

Until next time!

A must-read for dog lovers...

I recently read A Good Dog: The Story of Orson, Who Changed My Life by Jon Katz. Like most books about a dog, it touched my heart and had me snuggling with my two Aussies as I read it. But this one was different. Jon Katz had a very strong desire to help Orson who had touched his life deeply. He brought Orson into his home, a troubled dog who needed a lot of attention and guidance. The love between man and dog in this book is immense and will pull at your heartstrings when you read about the choice he must make for Orson. all the while teaching him lessons of his own.

If you have dogs, have ever had a "challenging" dog, or are just a dog lover, I highly recommend you read this book. This is the first of Jon Katz books that I have read and I already have a stack of others to read. Stay tuned for more reviews!

Family time...

I am so excited, two of my aunts from California are visiting this week. I consider myself very lucky when it comes to my aunts - they are amazing, strong, wonderful women. As an aunt to Autumn, and having that niece/aunt bond, I strive to be even just a little bit as wonderful as they are. I have very big shoes to fill.

Everyone knows about my love of photographs. My aunt BJ shares that love. We must have the same gene that makes us love photographs. She brought with her, a CD full of family photos, some of which I've seen, some I have not. Some are recent, some are old. I especially love the photos of my mom and dad back in the day. I LOVE family photos. Oh and there is a great photo of my cousin Raena and I. We are asleep on the photo - totally passed out. I don't remember it, but it sure is funny.

I am so happy they are here. The time will pass much too quickly and before we know it, it will be time for them to go home next Tuesday. But in the meantime, there will be much laughter and fun and reminiscing. Love you bunches BJ and Darlene....

Here are a few of the my favorites on the CD....

This is a bittersweet one, taken at the hospital just 2 days before my dad passed away, after Darlene, BJ, and Debi flew in from California to be with us.

Me, Grandma, Mommy, Nick, and my cousin Punky - this was in the 80's (my clothes and hair confirm that) in Houston at Hanna Barbera Land.

My cousin Raena and I. Apparently we were REALLY exhausted.

Mommy and BJ - LOVE this one!!

My cousin Terra and I, beach beauties. =)

Grandma - love the outfit and cigarette in her hand. So retro. =)

My daddy.

My cousins Terra, Raena, and me! (look at my socks!!!)

Darlene with my cousin Lindsay, and my Daddy

Me and my mommy

A chocolate giveaway?! Visit a friend's blog...

My friend, Joanna, is having a fun giveaway over on her blog Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman. Click HERE to visit her blog and read all about it. The giveaway involves chocolate candy, specifically Skinny Cow candy bars. I love the part when she says chocolate is her kryptonite.... We are so alike.

If you visit  her blog and enter her giveaway, come back and let me know about it. Maybe one of my followers will be the lucky winner! Wouldn't that be neat? You'll have to be quick, though... Her giveaway ends this Thursday!

com·pet·i·tive

com·pet·i·tive

–adjective

Having a strong desire to compete or to succeed 

This morning's walk/run was my best to date. My 3 best times so far are:

41:04

43:34

43:35

Last weekend I shaved 1 second off when I finished in 43:34. 1 SECOND.

This morning when I hit the start on my nifty Nike+ app on my phone, I decided I was going to beat that 43:34 by more than 1 second. And I did, by 2 min. 30 sec. to be exact.

I start out walking and I have certain landmarks at the park where I will run - between signs, etc.... It's a great way to alternate walking and running with an end in site. A lot of times, I'll push my running a little farther - not to this tree, how about the next one. It's always fun to challenge myself.

I am not a fast runner. And it's certainly not pretty when I run. I am the person who looks like I'm going to keel over - heaving breathing, shoulders hunched, and a bright red face. But you know what? I'm doing it. I will never be that person who runs so gracefully it looks like they are taking a leisurely stroll. My pace will get better and over time I'll be able to run farther than I do now, but it will never be pretty.

I am VERY competitive with myself. When I beat my previous time by 1 second, my first thought was I can do much better than that next time. I ran more than normal and when I did run, I tried to run a little faster. And it made a difference. My legs feel great and they feel strong and I am super proud of myself.

My next goal? To get under the 40 min. mark. That is just a matter of time. Because I am crazy competitive with myself, moreso than anyone else.

I took this picture at the park this morning - isn't it beautiful??

Eagle Lake Park

Saturday randomness

What a nice day this has been so far! My morning started with a 7.88 mile training walk with my sister-in-law Jenna. She is doing the Susan G. Komen 3-Day For The Cure walk in October and has training walks pretty often. I did one with her a few weeks ago, 6 miles. Today's was just short of 8 miles and we ROCKED IT! I really enjoy walking with Jenna... We keep a great pace together and there is always plenty to talk about. Here's a picture from this morning when we finished.... You can tell that I was super sweaty and icky and I felt totally gross when done, but it was worth it. And can I just say, for the record, that I love how my shoulders are starting to look again. After looking at this picture again, it makes me feel good to know the hard work and effort I am putting out is paying off.

Me and Jenna

After our walk we went to Starbucks (the big green logo behind us gave that one away) for a much needed caffeine fix for me. Jenna had TWO passion iced teas. I think that is awesome. Even better, the passion tea is pink, perfect color for the cause.

After going home for a much needed shower, I had suddent motivation to not only go grocery shopping but also to the produce market. The amount of money you can save at the produce market is crazy. We are fortunate to have one about two miles away and it's great. I went there first to stock up... Baking potatoes, green cabbage, cucumbers, zucchini, mushrooms, onions, apples, plums, and fresh garlic. Then it was off to the grocery store. I got stuff to make WW 0-point garden vegetable soup, always good to have on hand, and some shrimp to make a new WW recipe. Mmmmm, can't wait to make it.

I spent the last 2 hours in the kitchen making the soup, putting all my groceries away, and making devils food spice cupcakes. SUPER easy to make, just mix with a can pf pure pumpkin and bake. They are super moist and fewer points since there is no egg or oil. I put buttercream icing on half of them for my hubby so he can get his sweet tooth fix but left mine plain. De-lish!!

There is laundry going now and I foresee a nap in my future. I'm going to curl up with my book and I bet within a short time I fall asleep. I have been a busy girl today!

I hope you are all  having a GREAT Saturday!!

BYOC!!! (It is Friday after all....)

My new friend Joanna does BYOC on her blog every Friday and I have taken to doing it as well. It's fun. You can read Joanna's blog at Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman . Another blogger I just recently added to my list of faves does it as well, she goes by Drazil and you can find her at It's Just Me, Drazil & Sheniqua . You should take a moment out of your day to check both of them out....

1. Let’s do something crazy….I’m going to list the rainbow colors and you type the first FOOD item that pops into your head that symbolizes that color for you…..here’s mine:

Red - TomatoesOrange – Orange  (most boring answer EVER!)Yellow - PineappleGreen – Zucchini   (new recipe I read today has zucchini in it so it’s been on my mind all day!)Blue – Blue corn chips  (I am totally stealing this as this was mentioned in WW this morning, but man they sound good!)Purple – Eggplant

Brown -  Chocolate, duh. My mom says chocolate should be a vitamin and I whole-heartedly agree.Black – Black beans  (mmm, black beans and rice sounds fabulous right now)

**What is super funny about this question is we specifically discussed this at WW this morning in relation to fruits and veggies.
2. What is on your kitchen table right now?

Only thing on my kitchen table is an old-fashioned diner-type radio, salt/pepper shakers, and two candles. This table stays pretty clean. My dining room table, on the other hand, is the catch all for everything and it drives me INSANE.
3. What movie do you watch again and again and again? Not like what movie have you seen 5 times…but like what movie have you seen 30 times or more?

I love, love, love My Big Fat Greek Wedding, probably seen it at least 30 times. If I like a movie and if it comes on, I will watch it, no matter how many times I’ve seen it. Forrest Gump would be another one. Other than that, I am drawing a total blank. Ugh.
4. If Satan had a last name – what would it be?

I have a hard time with this one. My friend Joanna thinks Satan should just have one name, it doesn’t sound right to give him a last name.
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blogland and in real life.

Blogland has been good, although I had hoped to update my blog a little more than I did. I have really enjoyed reading the blogs I follow this week. I especially look forward to BYOC, it’s fun to answer random questions.

In real life, the week definitely got better as it went on. I walked an extra day this week (still one day short of my goal, but one day more than last week) and I got my water back to 64 oz. of water a day. I weighed in at WW this morning and I am down the 1.2 lbs. that I gained last week. I was so happy with that. I still say when I really stay on top of the water, it really makes a difference.

Work was exhausting as usual but it’s now Friday afternoon and I survived.

Life with my two crazy Aussie’s has been fun this week. They are just the cutest things and I love it when they are all snuggly. I can’t get enough of them.

I am doing an 8-mile training walk with my sister-in-law tomorrow morning which will be great. I am excited about it. The last one we did together was 6 miles. I am up for the extra 2 miles – BRING IT ON.

Two of my fabulous aunts are coming in from California late Tuesday. To say that I cannot wait to see them is a huge understatement. I want them to get here now. Lots of fun and togetherness planned…

If you do your own BYOC, be sure to come back and share the link here so I can go read it. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!

p.s. please forgive the weird spacing on this post. for the life of me, i cannot fix it. gggrrrrr..

Running through the tears...

I had a good walk/run today despite the unbelievable humidity. But in typical fashion, the run part of my efforts turned into me into a blubbering, teary-eyed mess. I am not sure why, but it's more common than not for me to cry when I run. I am not a pretty runner or even a good runner, but it's certainly not physical pain prompting my tears.

Between the endorphins that are kicking and just the release I feel in being outside and taking time for myself, I start really thinking about my dad, and on come the tears.

I miss my dad and wish so much that I could talk to him and see him and hug him. I think of him many times, every day, but I am so busy that those thoughts and memories, sadly, tend to get pushed aside in the craziness of my day. But when I am running and I have the miracle of an off-switch for the work stress and more that floods my mind daily, the thoughts of my dad fill my heart and mind.

I am okay with the tears and the thoughts I have of him durning my run. But it sure makes it tricky to see some times. By the time I am done, I am totally d-o-n-e. Worn out and exhausted. I have always said that walking is my therapy and good for my mental health, and for the depression tendencies I naturally have. I believe that even more after I've had a good cry, running through the park. I need that time that I take for myself, tears, thoughts of my dad, and all.

Give and Take

This past week marked 16 weeks back at WW for me. I had a gain, as expected, after the long holiday weekend of the 4th and a busy week. I need to work on being more prepared for the busy weeks so I stop using that as an excuse handle them better.

Let's start with my stats:
Current weight:  155.6
Total  lost: 10.2
This loss is down from 12.2 lbs. lost back on 06/03/11

Having been back at WW for 16 weeks now, I have been reminded how so much of it is give and take. Part of WW is learning how to handle different situations and to make wise decisions when it comes to eating. I do my best to always have fruit in the fridge, LOTS of water, and dinner is my biggest protein meal of the day. I also don't eat after 8:30 pm. 

Where I struggle is lunch during the week. My stress level has a tendency to dictate how good or bad I will be for lunch. The smoother my day is going, the better I'm going to be. If it is a bad day, all good intentions go out the window. Even if I started out the day by packing a lunch and calculating my points for the day, it doesn't matter at that point.

This is where that give and take comes in. If I give 110% and do everything I can - eat right, drinnk plenty of water, and get in plenty of activity - I will more than likely see results when I weigh-in. If I don't do all those things, it will also be reflected on the scale.

I am in control of my destiny on that scale. How hard do I want to work each week to make it happen? Do I want to kill myself to lose the weight as soon as possible? NO. Slow and steady whens the race... Do I want to do my best when I can yet still enjoy life and eating out and family meals, etc.... YES.

Would I like to be a little farther in my weight loss journey at this 16 week mark? YES. Maybe at my 10%.... Am I going to stress over it? NO. I made choices throughout these 16 weeks and this is where I am so far. Being down 10.2 lbs. is nothing to sneeze at. And that is going to keep me going.

A couple goals I am setting for myself this week:
- Keep up the 64 oz. of water a day. A couple days this week I did not meet that goal. I am also going to get back to posting it on FB when I reach my goal each day - helps to keep me accountable.
- Do my best to make time to walk at least 4 days this week, despite how busy I am.

What are some of your goals for the week?

Look, it's about ME!

My hero-blogger Joanna talks about me in her post today. That's right, little ole' me. You should go and check it out - you can find her at Diary of A Mad, Fat Woman. I am thankful for her kind words. After you read her post about me, you should browse the rest of her blog while you are at it. You won't be disappointed. You will be inspired and motivated - she is good like that.

Thank you, Joanna, for taking the time to talk about me! You're a doll. And thanks for texting me! We will motivate each other. =)

BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy

Again following the lead of my hero-blogger Joanna, I'm starting a new Friday tradition here on my blog. I answer random questions so you can get to know me better. Hopefully you will follow my lead and do the same so I can get to know you better. See, it can work for both of us!

If you were asked to symbolize yourself as an animal – which animal would you be?
I think anyone could probably answer this for me.  I would be a dog. It’s no secret that I love dogs, I’ve been a dog lover for as long as I can remember. We have always had dogs and they were all very special. So, why would I be a dog? That’s easy… I could love everyone around me unconditionally and not be judged. I would make people feel better just by being around them. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything except when my next nap would be. I could go to the bathroom just about anywhere outside. I wouldn’t have to worry about when or what to eat because someone else would feed me. And, I would be super cute. Dogs are adorable.

Did you ever play an organized sport – with coaches, rules and scoring? Tell us about it.
Let’s see… I’ve played tennis and softball. I loved tennis, I wish I had not stopped playing it. I also enjoyed softball but I don’t remember it quite as well as tennis. I was a pretty active kid, always doing something whether it was dance, tennis, or softball. In the 4^th grade, I started playing the flute and played all the way through high school. (Joanna – I, too, was a band geek!) I was in marching band and concert band. For two years, I was a squad leader in marching band. One year I also took choir, and I took music theory. Band was my life, I loved it and wanted to be a band director. Clearly that didn’t happen.

When did you start shaving your legs?
Geez, I don’t really remember. If I had to guess, I was probably 13 or 14??

When you’re in a crabby – pissy – want to stab everyone you see kind of mood – what do you do to get out of it or do you revel in it?
I do my best to TRY and hide my bad moods, but they usually become apparent when it gets to be too much and then I just become a real grouch. If I’m REALLY crabby / pissy, I just cry because I can’t keep it in any longer. This is why walking is so important to me. I say it a lot, but it’s just as much for my mental health as it is for my physical health. It clears my head and I’m able to shut things out and just not think about them.

5. Summarize your week in blogland and in real life.
Blogland has been good. I’ve been pretty active after a couple weeks of not having much to say. I am trying to get more followers so hopefully my blog is interesting to people. I know I love to read blogs, surely there is someone out there who likes to read mine.  =) Real life has been busy. Why is it that short, holiday weeks seem so long??? I mean, I only worked 4 days (technically 3 ½) but the week seemed to go on forever. Lots of crap happening at work, bad weather, had to drive 200 miles round trip yesterday…. Yea – it’s been a busy week. This morning was my WW meeting - tomorrow's post will be about that. I am SO glad it’s the officially the weekend.

If you happen to do your own BYOC post on your blog, be sure to post a link here so I can read it!

I'm not sorry

Remember my guest blogger I had awhile back, Joanna from Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman? I love her blog, I read it daily. Of all the ones I follow, I find myself looking for her updates first. As a reminder, here is her guest post on my blog. One of the things I love most about her is that she is very real. She has daily struggles and she is not afraid to be honest and an open book.

Anyhow, today on her blog she blogged about not being sorry about things. I LOVE THIS. It can be the smallest thing or the biggest thing, it doesn't matter. It's important to her and she knows enough to not be sorry for it. So, you probably know where I'm going.... I am copying her idea and doing my own. Here we go.

I AM NOT SORRY for having McDonald's for lunch today. I drove 200 miles round trip today for work and the last thing on my mind was having a salad or some such point-friendly meal. We went through the drive through and I had a hamburger, fries, and coke and I enjoyed every single fattening, high-point, delicious bite of it. I have had a love affair with McD's french fries since I was a little girl and today was no different. What makes them so damn good?!

I AM NOT SORRY that I played hooky from work on Tuesday. Yes I had work to do and would have kept myself quite busy with it but it was so much fun to take Autumn to the sprayground and watch her play. How could I possibly choose work over fun time with her when given the option?

I AM NOT SORRY for hating Casey Anthony. She is a rotten, evil, disgusting person and I cannot believe she will go free next week. She was lucky enough to have a child and not only did she not care but she killed her and will walk free. Seriously, I HATE her.

I AM NOT SORRY for the time I take for myself to walk. I do stuff for other people all day long, walking is MY time. I need that time to unwind, clear my head, and for my mental health.

I AM NOT SORRY for being the strong-willed person that I am. My feelings about things that are important to me and I will stand behind them. If you don't like it, too damn bad.

I AM NOT SORRY for the effort we put forth to try and have a child. While I do not like the financial aspect of it, I know that we tried everything we could given our health and financial conditions.

I AM NOT SORRY that I am so picky about the people that I choose to trust and let into my little world.

I AM NOT SORRY for the hard work that my hubby and I put ourselves through because I know we both work hard to provide for each other. I do wish things weren't so hard all the time but I am not sorry for the time we put in.

I AM NOT SORRY for the attempts I make at being a better person, even if it doesn't work.

I AM NOT SORRY that I did not work out last night as I got to spend time with my hubby.

I AM NOT SORRY that much of our Saturday and Sunday were spent at home or running errands because ultimately it meant time spent together. No matter what we do, anytime spent with hubby is fine by me. And lately it seems like it's less and less.

I AM NOT SORRY that I don't get on a scale more than once a week. We have not had a working scale here at home in a few years and the only time I get on a scale is on Friday mornings at WW. I am not sorry that I no longer put myself through the torture of getting on the scale every single morning and seeing numbers fluctuate as much as 5 pounds in a day. For me, weighing myself daily does not work. It only feeds my OCD-tendencies and drives me insane.

Happiness is.... Sweet Autumn

The past couple days, we have had the pleasure of having Autumn stay over with us while her mom and dad are in Sarasota for their anniversary. She came over Sunday morning and she'll go home today. She is so comfortable in our house and while she does miss Mommy and Daddy, she has fun while she is with us.

On Monday, we went to Grandmommy's house for a 4th of July cookout. That evening we went to Crystal Beach for sunset and fireworks. There were a few dogs there, she made the rounds to pet them. She LOVES dogs! She loves to play in the water and run through the sand. We saw some of the fireworks and she loved them, too - especially the pink ones.

At the beach!

Doggy!

Yesterday I didn't take her to school, I kept her with me. I worked for a bit and then Grandmommy and I took her to Dunedin Sprayground. She had TOO much fun there. It was a hot day so it was the perfect outdoor activity for her. She met a boy who was probably 9(??) and they laughed and played and had fun. It was adorable watching him keep an eye out for her and go down the slide together. He tried to get her to go down on her tummy and every time she said she would but never did. There was a lot of laughing and giggling. When we were leaving, she saw him running around the sprayground and she said "that's my boy!".  She also said that he's going to be her boyfriend.

Autumn and her boy

Last night we watched Barbie movies. Mike had to run out for a bit and she kept asking if he was going to come back. When he did get back, she sat next to him and watched the end of her movie with him. So sweet...

Watching Swan Lake with Uncle Mike

My favorite times would have to be in the mornings when she first wakes up. She comes out of the room with the cutest smile on her face and just talks and talks. She loves to help with Scarlett and Blue and Ozzie. She is quite the little helper.

Breakfast smiles

I adore Autumn and I am so glad she has so much fun when she is with us. And I am so thankful that Nick and Jenna are so comfortable leaving her with us. It makes me feel really good.

Seven months today...

Today is 7 months since my dad passed away, specifically at 1:53pm. I cannot believe more than half a year has passed since the saddest day of my life. I miss him terribly, not a day goes by without thinking about him.

I am so thankful to have had the relationship I had with him. I know there are many who are not so lucky. I saw my dad at lest 5 days a week, if not more. We were always close. He was stubborn and often drove me batty but I loved him so very much. I had 38 years and 10 months with him, all of which went by much too quickly.

I think very often of the 4 weeks he spent in the hospital. I have never been on such an emotional rollercoaster as I was then. I spent every minute I could at the hospital. Somehow I kept the business going with as little time from me as possible and I am thankful that my hubby understood that I needed to be there every minute possible. Even in those last 2 weeks when he was not with us most of the time, I still had to be there to sit by his bedside, hold his hand, rub his shoulder, waiting and wondering what would happen.

Of his 4 weeks in the hospital, he was home for one day and there was one day I did not make it up to see him. It was the day before he went home for one day, his first stay. He was feeling much better that day and they predicted he would go home the next day. I used that day to get caught up on work and even worked late. I spoke to my mom a couple times throughout the day to check on him. I remember very well one of the later phone calls when he told her to tell me that he missed me and he loved me. The one day I could not make it up there and I felt SO guilty... But I know he understood why I could not be.

As hard as those final days were, I am thankful to have had them. He was surrounded by family, even as far as California and New Jersey. I have never shed so many tears in my life as I did those last days. And while I know that we made the right decision, it is still the hardest decision ever made. It is not fun to play God and decide when it is the right time for someone to die. And while we, unfortunately, never had the important conversations that we should have that may have made it all a little easier (although easier is not the right word), I think we all knew in our hearts that he never would have wanted to be in that hospital bed with all those tubes and machines keeping him alive. When he pulled his feeding tube out on what would be his last night, he was making it very clear what he wanted.

I miss you every single day, Daddy. I put on a brave face and go through the each day as I should and as I need to. But you are in my my thoughts and in my heart every single minute. Like I said to you in your last moments.... You were the best father ever and I will miss you forever.

I love you, Daddy.

I *heart* walking!

I went for my first long walk in 2 weeks. Being sick and just plain old life got in the way. It took me days to get over being sick and then some to really feel like myself again so I did nto walk until Wednesday. That was on the treadmill because even then I dreaded being out in the heat and humidity of the afternoon. Yesterday morning we took the dogs to the park for a walk. That was nice but my walks with them are much slower (since they have to stop and smell everything...). So this morning after we ran a few errands, I decided it was my time to get back out there and do what I do best - and what I so enjoy.

I love to walk. I am thankful for my strong legs to get me where I need to go and to allow me to walk farther ad faster as I need to. I walked a pretty good pace, 15:24 which means I finished 3.11 miles in 48:01. Not my fastest to date but still very good.

I love the feel of the sunshine on my shoulders. I think the sun is a drug, the more I get it, the more I want it.

I sweat my ass off today. There is nothing pretty about walking in the heat of summer in Florida and when I'm done, I am a disgusting mess. But man it feels good. And it makes me want to walk more. It's funny how the more I walk, the more I want to walk. But when I miss a day or two, it can be harder to get back to it.

I am hopeful to get a walk in tomorrow morning.

And the scale says...

I went to WW yesterday, unsure what the scale would say. After being sick and missing the meeting last week, and only walking twice in the past two weeks, I thought it might be up. I was pleasantly surprised to see a 1 lb. loss.

Weight:  154.4 lbs.
Total loss:  11.4 lbs.
I am 0.80 lbs. away from my lowest which was on 06/03/11. I had two gains since then so this loss made me happy. I am still trying to get to my next goal of 16 lbs. total, which will be 10% and almost halfway to my goal of 130 lbs..

I walked this morning at the park with hubby and the dogs. With the heat we've had, I have not been walking the dogs like I used to. But there was actually a cool breeze this morning and I thought it would be a great start to the long weekend. We walked 2.16 miles in 59 minutes - very slow but still a great walk. Blue and Ozzie enjoy getting out as much as I do.

My goals for this coming week are:
- keep up with my 64 oz. of water a day, which I have done very well with
- restock the fridge with fresh fruits for 0 point snacks
- make garden vegetable soup for lunches which is very filling
- walk at least 4 days this week

What are your goals?