Remembering Sweet Sammi

Two years ago today, we said goodbye to our Sweet Sammi. A little Terrier mix who ruled our home, loved us unconditionally, and left her paw prints forever on our hearts. She came into my life at just 6 weeks old, a little furball who looked like a gremlin. She was 17 when we had to have her put down on the sad Sunday, Sept. 13, 2009. She was such a good dog, although totally misunderstood. She was very protective and had poor vision, which meant if she didn't know you, she would bark her head off at you and could sound pretty scary despite her 14 pounds.

A very young Sammi with my little sister.

She was my baby. When I met Mike, she had to grow to like him and of course she did. He loved her and spoiled her just as much as I did. She lived to be with us, to protect us, and to love us.

Stylish in her little diva sweater

We were lucky that she lived a very healthy life. She was only sick for a few days when very quickly, her breathing became very labored and after a couple days, we realized it was time to take her to the emergency vet. It was a dark, dreary, rainy Sunday afternoon when we said goodbye. I was lucky enough to hold her when she left us. When we left the emergency vet, the sun was out and there was a bright rainbow across the sky. I knew then we did the right thing, no matter how hard and sad it was. And since then, I think of Sammi everytime I see a rainbow and know that she is watching over us.

Snuggling with Mike

Dogs are with us for such a short time and they accompany us through different times of our lives. I was 20 years old when I got Sammi and she went with me when I moved in with Mike and made a home for the three of us. She was my comfort through our infertility heartbreaks and was always ready to curl up with me and love me. Sammi, along with Mike and I, made up our little family. She will forever be a part of us. We love and miss you Sammi.

Christmas 2008, our last with Sammi

January 2009 - one of my favorite photos of our Sweet Sammi

Back to basics!

In my ongoing quest to figure out what I need to do to make this whole weight-loss thing work for me, I started thinking about how I did the first time I joined WW in January of 2006. The biggest thing that jumps out at me is that I didn't use eTools then. I tracked everything by hand. My little journal went everywhere with me. I would even write out my whole day ahead of time and actually stick to it. I kept all of those journals and pulled them out this morning to look at them. I was so organized, I labeled everyone when I finished it so I can go back and look at them in order. Here they are...

When I compare eTools to tracking by hand, the biggest difference is the ability to hold it in my hand and look through it. A lot of work went into these. Now, I'm not knocking eTools - this method works for many many people. And I tried it for quite awhile this time around, but I really think it's not for me. And I think that if I go back to the old fashioned way, it just may be that little something I need to help me get back into it. Back to basics.

I looked through journal #1 at what one day consiststed of food wise. There was no shortage of food. It was good for me and I don't remember being hungry. Here is what one day looked like, from the week I joined (and successfully lost 3 pounds in that week by staying on track).

At that time, I could have 22 points daily points. Under the new plan, I can have 29, and there are some days I can't make that work. Something to think about.

While we're at it, I fill you in on how I did that first time on WW. I joined on Jan. 14, 2006 and I weighed 156 pounds. I made my goal on June 17 when I hit 129.6 pounds. I set 130 as my goal weight that I wanted to maintain. I reached lifetime on August 5 weighing in at 128.4 pounds after 6 weeks of maintenance. I remember how great I felt, reaching that goal.

This time when I joined WW, I was 165.8 pounds. I have farther to go this time and it's harder. But I think if I get back to basics - and for me that means tracking by hand and having that actual journal to hold and write in and be able to go back and look at - I will do better. I *KNOW* I can do this, I can.

What do you do that works for you?

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Today's post will focus on the good, the bad, and the ugly of the last few days, in no particular order.

The good.... I walked this morning, at the park. I ignored the rain clouds looming over head and headed out. I walked, didn't run. I didn't set my tracker for a 5K, I just set it to basic and off I went. I walked for 1 hour and 24 seconds, 3.57 miles. I walked just to walk - not to beat my previous times, not to break any records. I just walked. And it was great. Rain and all. I don't know why I couldn't get my butt out there these last couple of weeks when it becomes so apparent how much I enjoy it the minute I start walking.
(note to self: come back often and read this post to remind yourself how important walking is no matter what kind of funk you are in.)

The bad... I gained 2 pounds this week. Honestly, I expected it especially after missing the meeting the week prior. The meetings are great for getting me on the right foot for the new week. If I lose, it keeps me motivated to continue doing what I'm doing. If I gain, it motivates me to work harder. So, I will own these 2 pounds that are now along for the ride on my butt or hips or wherever else they decided to attach themselves.

The ugly... With the 2pounds I have gained, it puts me at a total loss of only 6.6 pounds in the whole time I've been back at WW. The highest my loss has been was 12.2 pounds so I have gained half of that back. This is pretty disheartening but I have to remember that it's just not easy to lose weight and life just gets in the way. The first time I did WW, it wasn't "easy" but it was "easier" than this time. But my body is different this time, it's been through the ringer, poked, prodded, and more. Not to mention I'm 5 years older now. It's just not easy. But I'm not going to give up.

The good... I am not going to let this weight loss battle beat me. I am going to keep at it, do the best I can, and know that I am doing exactly that. It may not be easy, but it will not beat me.

The bad... After re-commiting myself to tracking again on Wednesday, I fell off the wagon yesterday and didn't track a single bit. <sigh> So, I am starting over again today to try for my #7daychip. I know I can do this. I'll pick myself back up and start again. Today is day 1.

The ugly... I overate in a big way at dinner last night. Nobody's fault but mine. I did it and I own it. Time to move on.

The good... On Wednesday, I committed to not having Starbucks until the weekend. I successfully met that challenge and rewarded myself with one this morning. It was super yummy and I enjoyed it. I tracked it, and all is right in the world.

The good... When I went to WW yesterday, Lorraine (our fearless leader) was so happy to see me and greeted me with a hug. She said she  had been worried about me all week. That made me feel good. It's people like her who keep those meetings going and keep us coming back. She has been in the same place we have, fought the same battles, and is there to offer her support in any way she can. Thank you Lorraine.

The good... After the WW meeting, I had a great talk with Tammy, a WW friend. We chat at each meeting, and on Facebook. We both enjoy walking, and seem to have the same struggles with time, with our bodies cooperating, and just trying to get that scale to go down. She told me she was worried about me, that I was looking a little defeated and to not give up. Our talk reminded me that it is really good to get back to basics and just keep plugging along, doing the best we can. Thank you Tammy, you're a doll.

I might have to make this a regular post... It's a good way to get things off my chest, things I need to face and deal with. That's the whole point of my blog. I already have tomorrow's post in mine, so stay tuned!

Let's do this.

I did it - I stuck to my promise and walked this morning. I had to go on the treadmill due to the rain and by the time I decided the rain wouldn't stop for me, I only had 30 minutes to get it done. I did 2 miles in 34:35. The miles seem to take so much longer on the treadmill and I am not sure why there seems to be such a time difference beetween walking outside and on the treadmill, but there is. Regardless, I did it. Day one of getting back to it.
I am setting some goals for myself and I want to share them with you. Some you've heard before, some maybe you have not.

• No Starbucks today, tomorrow, or Friday. They should be a rare treat on the weekends, not several days a week.
• Get back to drinking at least 64 oz. of water a day. Most days I meet this goal, but I need to do it EVERYDAY.
• Focus more on fruits and veggies and less on processed foods.
• Track every bite I take. This has fallen very low on my list of priorities and that needs to change. The busier I am, the harder this is so I just need to really focus on it.
• Walk 3 days a week, no less. More is good, but not less. I have to remember that even in this funk when I don't want to walk, I will feel much better after I've done it. Plain and simple.

Some of you may have heard about the #7daychip, maybe you have not. I've seen it fly by in Twitter posts and read about it on a couple different blogs I follow. Most recently I read about it over on Jen's blog, Jen In Real Life. She just got her #7daychip after setting a goal to track her food everyday. As she put it, she tracked everything for 8 days - the good, the bad, the ugly. If she can do it, so can I.

I visited the website for the #7daychip, which you can find here. You can read about Brad Gansberg and more on his website. The #7daychip is an acknowledgement of going 7 days without eating in an uncontrolled manner. You determine your own standards that you need to achieve this goal.

Since I want, NEED, to get back to tracking all of my foods, my goal is the same as Jen's. To track everything I eat for 8 days. The good, the bad, the ugly. When I'm done (notice I didn't say if), it will be a big accomplishment, one that will work side by side with my Weight Watchers goals. The goals that I know work when I do it.

With that said, I've already had 2 bottles of water this morning and I had oatmeal for breakfast, with soy milk and half an apple. Very filling.

Have any of you done the #7daychip? I'd love to hear about it if you have! Feel free to share some of your goals, too.

I'm here, I promise

That blah feeling I had on my last post (a week ago today, thank you) has certainly taken it's time skipping town. I haven't walked at all. For the first time in forever, my weekly dailymile report had 0 miles. Major guilt trip when I got that email. I've been eating a lot and making poor choices. And to top it off, I did not go to WW last Friday because I had a busy day ahead for work. My time at work and not at the meeting was well worth it, getting everything done that I needed to before the long weekend, but I should have gone to another meeting. I did not. I can't give you a good reason why because I don't know.

So, it's Tuesday afternoon and I have been home since 1pm. Internet was down and I had a big quote to get out for work. That requires internet. So I came home. I got the quote done as well as other things. Now would be the perfect time to go and walk, but I'm not. Instead I am roasting some zucchini because it sounded good. A little olive oil drizzle, some minced garlic, and italian seasoning. I've never made it this way and I had a whole pack of zucchini sitting in the fridge, just waiting to be used.

This morning I had a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks. Today was the first they had it and man it was good. I get mine with soy milk, it's that much creamier. I enjoyed every last drop of it. The problem is, this could VERY easily snowball into me wanting one every day. My waist AND my checkbook cannot afford that. So, I am putting the brakes on Starbucks starting now. I'll have to take an all or nothing approach with it at first and break this habit I've gotten back into over over the last couple of weeks. I'm sorry Starbucks, I'm not saying goodbye forever, just for a little bit. Perhaps you'll see me on the weekend. It's not you, it's me. Promise.

As for my walking, or lack thereof, I have to make a change. I have missed walking, but have also enjoyed the lack of pain in my foot. So, as soon as I can, I am buying a pair of inserts for my shoes as suggested by my brother. We'll give that a shot. I am also going to switch things up and go back to walking in the morning - STARTING TOMORROW. To be able to get it done first thing, at least for the next few weeks, will be nice. I have some guilt about neglecting other things around the house by walking in the afternoon when I get home so the mornings will be a good choice for now.

The wonderful thing is, I have now told the world my plans so now I have to do it. Should anyone feel the urge to check up on me and make sure I'm actually doing these things, I welcome the accountability. You know where and how to find me.

Wait, what?

Good grief, Charlie Brown. Has it really been over a week, almost 2 actually, since I last updated my blog? I've meant to update it several times but for some reason I have not. Chalk it off to the funkiness I have been in, I guess.

My last post was about evil bloated woman where I gained 3.4 pounds. &^%#%@ Yea, 3.4 lbs.. Mind you, no one forced the food down my throat or twisted my arm to eat whatever bad foods I ate that I probably should not have. But when evil bloated woman is here, I have NO self control. NONE. Really, I don't.

Moving past the 3.4 lb. gain, the next day I walked 13 miles with my fabulous sister-in-law. Have I mentioned how much I enjoy those walks? The high that I feel when done with that kind of walk should keep me going for a great start to the week leading up to the next weigh-in. But not last week. I didn't walk the Sunday after. And not that Monday. I did do a strength training work out (which, by the way, I felt for days). On Tuesday I walked 3.11 miles. I wanted to run, but my legs could not would not do it. Regardless, I walked it and got it done. On Wednesday, I did nothing. Nada. Same on Thursday. Thursday is normally a no workout day anyhow, but the guilt was there since I skipped the day before. When I walked into WW on Friday, I had no idea what the scale would say. Whatever it said, though, I would have to own it. I am the one who decided to not workout when I could have, or to eat whatever it was I should not have. Amazingly, I was down 1 pound. Honestly, I think the pound I lost was the fact that evil bloated woman was finally gone, at least until she rears her ugly head again in a few weeks.

That 1.0 lb. loss gave me a little jump start,. I was happy. I was even happier when my sister-in-law and I walked 14 miles on Saturday. That is nothing to sneeze at, my friends. It was a HARD walk this week. It was hot and humid and when we were done, my feet (especially my right foot) was screaming at me. My SIL had to stop at mile 12 due to blisters on her feet. It was brutal. But we gave it our best. I burned ALOT of calories, 1239 calories to be exact. Again, this should have kept me going into this week.

Where did this funk come from? Why I am so blah this past week and not really caring about what food choices I make? It's irritating, and to be quite honest, scary. I don't want to give up, I don't want to quit, but I feel like something else is controlling me.

I got home yesterday and should have walked. It was raining so I didn't. I should have gone on the treadmill, but I didn't. I got home today, no rain, a little bit of a breeze - I should have walked. But I didn't. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME??

Someone needs to give me a virtual slap or something. I don't know what needs to happen, but I have got to snap out of this funkiness. I don't want to be tired and blah and just whatever. I don't. I want to be that girl who comes home, changes quickly, and runs out the front door and knocks out 3.11 miles as quickly as I can. I want to walk back in the house, dripping with sweat, and post what I did, and enjoy the rest of my evening knowing I busted my butt.

If anyone can help me find that girl that does those things, I'll be eternally grateful. I'm really not sure where she is this week. I need her.

Evil bloated woman is here...

I am skipping my usual BYOC post this week to talk about a different topic. That being weight gain. My usual light-hearted, entertaining, information packed post will be replaced with something far less  fun, but something I want to talk about.

This week has been a weird one. I walked this past Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I didn't only walk, I ran. I kicked butt and sweat like there was no tomorrow. Then came Tuesday and I was tired. I was achy. My legs hurt. And I was grouchy. At some point that day, evil bloated woman took over my body and I had no say in it. I chose not to run that day, hell I didn't even want to walk. And it didn't take much convincing of myself to not go out. Instead, I did some cleaning when I got home. And I didn't miss the running. I attributed this to the arrival of evil bloated woman. I am over losing control of my body for a few days each month but whatever. Being a girl sucks. Did I mention that I had a couple of adult beverages as well?

Then comes Wednesday and I started the day thinking I would make up for the day before. WRONG. My eating that day was awful. I was on carb overload, consuming everything that is bad for me like there is no tomorrow. I knew it was wrong but I didn't care. Or evil bloated woman didn't care. The line can be very blurred at times. When I got home Wednesday afternoon, I knew I would not be running or walking. Nope, it wasn't going to happen.

This is what I started to feel guilty, but knew that no matter how much guilt I felt, I had no control over the situation. I was bloated and hungry and grouchy and as much as I wanted to not care about being good and getting out there, I really didn't.

Yesterday being a non-workout day for me, I took advantage of it and did just that. I didn't work out. Why would I? I was still grouchy and bloated and being held hostage by evil bloated woman. There was more eating foods that I shouldn't be eating, at least in the quantities I was eating them.

When I got up this morning, I dreaded getting on the scale at WW. For a minute, evil bloated woman tried to convince me NOT to go. But alas, I knew I would go. I had to go, I had to be accountable, no matter how bad it might be. The only thing is, I didn't realize it would be quite so bad.

I got on the scale this morning to see a 3.4 lb. weight gain. I gained exactly the amount of weight that I worked my butt off to lose the two weeks prior. I joked about evil bloated woman when I got off the scale and while I know she played a part in it, I knew that somehow I have to find a way to not let her control me like that and send me into a downward spiral.

I know I will lose that 3.4 pounds, I don't doubt that. I just worry that it'll take me two 2+ weeks to do it and then before I know it, evil bloated woman will be back again trying to trick me into her evil ways again. I have to find a way to keep her from controlling me.

Tomorrow morning I will be walking 13 miles with my sister-in-law for her training for the 3 Day walk. This will be a great start to the new week. I cannot let this get me down, I have to pick myself up and get right back to it. Evil bloated woman be damned.