Starting over, again.

Today I did what I've been needing to do for awhile. There was no more denying my clothes not fitting like they used to, or my inability to control my appetite and how much I was eating. I needed something to keep me line since I can't seem to do it myself. I went back to Weight Watchers.

There is nothing like getting on the scale knowing it's going to read a number that is higher than you want it to be. Finding out just how high it is is even worse. I am all about being open and honest here on my blog, but for now, I don't want to admit what I weighed in at. It's higher than I've been in many many years and I don't like it. Not. One. Bit.

It's that kind of anger and frustration that I need to get me off my butt and do something about it. And I am the only one who can do it. I am excited about following the new PointsPlus program and see what all it has to offer. I am excited to plan my meals and have that structure that I need to stay on point.

I didn't stop going to Weight Watchers because I wanted to. I stopped going because when I got busy at work and needed every minute I could to do what I needed to and was bringing work home to do in the evenings, the easiest thing to give up to make time for that was my time at WW and working out. All of a sudden, my Friday mornings were spent wherever I had surveys or permitting or customer meetings, so I wasn't able to go to my WW meeting. When I would get home from work, instead of putting on my running shoes the minute I got home and running out the door, I was sitting down at my dining room table to continue to work on whatever I brought home with me. I was also eating whatever was quick and easy. All of this added up to extra pounds for me. Nobody's fault but mine. I didn't like it but I was doing what had to be done. This is where I need to find balance. I work to hard at work to keep things busy and I can't let being busy control my every minute and affect my wellness.

A good friend is doing WW too. I look forward to sharing recipes, thoughts, motivation, and more with her. I also just last night read a post on Colleen Bee Fit's blog about how she just reached her Lifetime weight goal. What an inspiration she is! Her before and after photos are incredible and she is so amazing. I guarantee you when I walked back in to Weight Watchers this morning, I was thinking about her meeting her goal. I want to again feel that excitement of getting to my goal weight and I want to br proud of myself for working my butt off.

It won't be easy. Lord knows my body doesn't respond like it used to. But nothing worth having is easy. It'll be hard to not eat everything in site and have to really limit those glasses of wine I so enjoy. On the flipside, I will enjoy foods that I love and I will be taking better care of myself. In return, I look forward to feeling better not only about how I look, but also about how I feel. I don't like being achy and sore all the time. My body is telling me something. And finally, I am listening. That is a very empowering thing.

I hope you'll follow me on my journey. Any support I can get is important to me and will motivate me to keep plugging away at this, one pound at a time, however long it takes.

Health and Wellness Goals for 2012

Happy New Year! Happy 2012!! I am happy to have a fresh start. Something about a new year that makes me feel like I have a chance to start over and get it right, yet again.

I hate to use the word resolutions, so I am going to use the word goals. I have a few health and wellness-related goals, and what better place to put them then here, where anyone can see them. I am all about accountability, so here goes.

1) Be nicer to myself in 2012. This is a hard one for me. I tend to get mad at my body for the things it can't do and then I don't care what I do to it. Mostly, eating. I love to eat, no surprise there, but I go through phases where I just flat out don't care how much I eat or what I eat. Screw it, I just don't care. Well, as fun as it is at that moment, I CAN'T DO THAT. I am fortunate to like and enjoy a lot of healthy foods and I should really focus on those more than the bad.

2) Do my best to stick to a regular walking/running routine even when I am too busy. This is another downfall of mine. When I get busy and have too much to do, my needs are the first to go. And ususally, any exercise I am currently into at the time goes out the window. It's the easiest thing to give up because I can't give up things like sleep, eat, take care of the dogs, etc... I CAN'T DO THAT. Everyone gets busy and it's hard to fit everything in. I need to lose my all-or-nothing mentality and remember that even if I don't have time for a 3-mile walk, 1-mile would be better than nothing. Over time it all adds up and it is good for my mental health.

3) Lose weight. I am having such a hard time with my weight these days. I'll address the "how much do I need to lose" on a later post. I know metabolism slows down as you get older and I am here to tell you that is true. But I have to find a way to make it work. I can't continue on this path of eating whatever I want, when I want because it tastes good. I CAN'T DO THAT. My short frame is not meant to be this weight. I can feel it, my body aches, and I don't like it. I know over time with proper eating and activity it will respond. It may happen slower than it has in the past, but I am confident that I can lose the weight.

4) Do more walking/running events. After signing up for my first half marathon the other day, I am already thinking about a second one. Yes, I am an over-achiever. I would like to do TWO half-marathons in 2012 and I would like to do THREE 5Ks. Here's the catch.... I want to run two of the 5Ks. I used to be able to run 3 miles at a time and I will get back there. I'm already looking into local events for the year.

5) Read more books. This one is totally non-health related, but it's something I'd like to do so it falls under the wellness category. With my current Kindle Fire obsession, I have plenty to read and I want to work towards a goal of 40 books for the year.

6) Keep up with my blog as regularly as possible. I'm not sure that when people read this they enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it, but it is so fun for me to do and makes me feel better. It's like my journal, a way to express my feelings and most of all, I can pretend to be a writer. Thank you to all who read this!

What are YOUR goals for 2012?